Shaykh ‘Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Naasir as-Sa’dee (d.1376), may Allaah have Mercy on him, was asked, “If someone has poor parents, should preference be given to spending on their needs over slaughtering sheep for an ‘Aqeeqah (i.e. for a newborn child)”?
His answer:
When a person has poor parents, their needs are given preference over (slaughtering for) an ‘Aqeeqah, since taking care of their needs is an obligation, while an ‘Aqeeqah is Sunnah (recommended). This is when there is no way to do both.
Source: Al-Fataawee As-Sa’diyyah (p.269)
Translated by: Moosaa Richardson
as-salaamu ‘alaykum, isnt the aqeeqa waajib? isnt that what Shaykh Al Albaanee said? Allaahu ‘alam
wa ‘alaykis-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Refer to this: Why the Majority of the Scholars Held the ‘Aqeeqah to be a Recommended Deed, not an Obligation. May Allaah bless you.
Assalamo alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu
Ustaad can you please advise upon whom is it waajib to spend on the parents?
Sons, daughters or both?
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah wa barakaatuh. When spending is needed to take care of parents, it is a collective duty upon the capable inheritors (male & female) to take care of them. The males are more responsible as the normal providers and maintainers of the women, but in the case when no sons can spend on their parents, and there is a rich daughter, then she must spend on them.
With proper knowledge of the parents’ status in Islam, and with the proper Islamic upbringing, the people will race one another to spend on and take care of their parents. They will take great honor in it, and they will not resemble the stingy disbelievers who pass the buck between each other, and refuge with Allah is sought from such disgrace!
Allah says:
وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا
“And your Lord has decreed that you shall not worship anyone but Him, and to the parents kindness [is due]…” [17:23]
And Ibn Mas’ood said:
سألت رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم قلت: يا رسول الله، أي العمل أفضل؟ قال: «الصلاة على ميقاتها»، قلت: ثم أي؟ قال: «ثم بر الوالدين»
I asked the Messenger of Allah (may Allah raise his rank and grant him peace): Which deed is most virtuous? He said, “Prayer in its time.” I said: Then what? He said, “Then dutifulness to parents.” [Bukhari & Muslim]
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
If I give a large sum of money to my mother, muslim but sinful, and she uses some of it in things that are haraam am I to be held accountable? Also, if I should not as an asl in such case, does this ruling change if she commands me to do so?
وعليكم السلام ورحمة الله وبركاته
If you feel your mother may listen to advice, then you may give her the money and encourage her to use it in good permissible ways. Allah says:
وذكر فإن الذكرى تنفع المؤمنين
“And offer reminders, for indeed the reminder benefits the believers.” [51:55]
And if you feel she will not listen, as perhaps she is set in her ways and has been advised but continues to waste money in disobedience of Allah, then apply the Verse:
ولا تؤتوا السفهاء أموالكم التي جعل الله لكم قياما وارزقوهم فيها واكسوهم وقولوا لهم قولا معروفا
“And do not give foolish people your wealth which Allah has made for you to be effective sustenance. Yet, provide for them from it, clothe them, and speak to them with good speech.” [4:5] Mujaahid, the great imam of Tafseer, said this Verse includes women, be they daughters, spouses, or even mothers.
NOTE: You do not need to say that your mother is a fool to apply this strategy!
If you gave her money in the first scenario, you are not accountable for her waste (if she then wastes it). If you gave her money in the second scenario, then you would be accountable for doing what Allah has forbidden you from.
And remember:
وقضى ربك ألا تعبدوا إلا إياه وبالوالدين إحسانا إما يبلغن عندك الكبر أحدهما أو كلاهما فلا تقل لهما أف ولا تنهرهما وقل لهما قولا كريما (23) واخفض لهما جناح الذل من الرحمة وقل رب ارحمهما كما ربياني صغيرا
“And your Lord has decreed that you must not worship other than Him, and kindness to parents [is due]. Whether one or both of them reach old age while you are alive, then do not say to them ‘Uff’ [the slightest show of displeasure]! And do not scorn them, but say to them a noble word (i.e. speak well to them). And lower unto them the wing of humility out of mercy. And say: ‘My Lord, have Mercy on them as they raised me from when I was young.’” [17:23-24]
May Allah give you success. And Allah knows best.