In the Name of Allaah, the Most Gracious, the Ever Merciful…
Often, especially in the West, a man may find himself in the position of being his own mother’s walee (guardian) for marriage. Of course, we know the walee’s approval is a necessary requirement for the validity of a marriage contract. This predicament can be a difficult one to navigate, since in Islam he is required to obey, respect, and honor his mother. Yet, if she wishes to marry a man whom he is not pleased with, can he actually refuse to consent and prevent such a marriage? How does he balance between obedience to his mother and this apparent position of authority over her, as limited as it may be?
To aid our brothers who are faced with such a dilemma, I posed the following question to Shaykh Muhammad ‘Umar Baazmool (may Allaah bless and preserve him):
شيخنا من كان وليًا لأمه ولاية النكاح كيف يتأدب معها إذا كان لا يواقق على اختيار رجل لها فيه رغبة
Our shaykh, regarding someone who is a walee (guardian) for the marriage of his mother: How does he uphold good manners with her if he does not agree with the choice of a man she is interested in?
He replied:
يذكر لها عيوبه بأدب ويترك لها الخيار وينفذ ما تريده أمه إلا إذا كان يترتب على اختيارها الوقوع في الحرام
He mentions to her his defects (or faults) with good manners. He leaves the decision to her. He fulfills whatever it is that she wants, unless her choice leads to falling into the haraam (impermissible matters).
And Allaah knows best.
Written by: Moosaa Richardson
Source: A question posed directly to the shaykh on 1439.01.17, shared with his permission.
When will the list for ummul qura university is going to be out.. Jazakallahu kair
We know it is impermissible to shave a part of the head and leave the rest. However it is permissible to trim the hair unequally with sicsors?
Some scholars consider this a kind of the prohibited qaza cut, or to have the same traits of the qaza, like being imbalanced in one’s appearance and Allaah knows best. See this: https://www.sahab.net/forums/index.php?app=forums&module=forums&controller=topic&id=98833
Asalamualaikum,
There is a brother who claims to be upon salafiyyah but takes from the likes of Yasir Qadhi, Abu Eesah and Al Maghreb institute. Should we flee from him as we would flee from an innovator?
May Allah reward you with good brother Moosa, Barakallahu Feekum for bringing me from the path of misguidance to the path of the Salaf.
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. If he is teaching or passing on “benefits” from those people, then, YES, stay away and protect yourself. If he is a common person who does not know any better, then patiently advise him to learn about the dangers of those who cut us off from the scholars. Recommend that he read this article: https://www.bakkah.net/en/almaghrib-institute-and-kamal-el-mekki-still-using-magic-openly-to-sell-tickets-to-their-events.htm or this one: https://www.bakkah.net/en/once-they-replace-our-scholars-where-will-they-take-us.htm
Jazakhallah Khayrun, he used to be just a laymen like you described, but after seeing him after a few months he is now a caller to the path of misguidance, and Insh’Allah I will steer clear of him.
Jazakallahu kheir brother moosa .i would like to ask .i pray in a mosque here in east africa kenya and the mosque administrator s are qutubis and recently they decided to extend the mosque and they asked for donations so what is the ruling on participating in raising money with the intention of extending a mosque rather than promoting a blame worthy group hayakallahu brother moosa i love u for the sake of Allah may Allah preserve u.
People of innovation are not trustworthy in carrying this Deen, and so commonly they are materialistically corrupt as well, not trustworthy in collecting and distributing money.
Assalamun aleikhum. When a guy propose to a lady and she did istikhara on it and it happened to be positive. But the issue is the lady is more practicing sunnah and knowledgeable than the guy (Allah knows best) also she advised the guy to search more on knowledge and practice the sunnah but the guy is a working class who has less time.does she cancel the proposal or
Wa ‘alayk as-salaam wa rahmatullaah. I am having difficulty in understanding a few things. The istikhaarah prayer “happened to be positive” – could you explain that for me? And what is meant by her “cancelling the proposal”?
As salaamu alaykum. My closest friend’s brother is Muslim. He is from her mothers side. He openly sins and she doesn’t want him to be over her affairs. A brother has shown interest in her. She would like my husband to stand in as her wakil. Is this permissible? I have known her for 10 years and I have been married to my husband for 13 years.
Wa ‘alayk as-salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Read this please: https://www.bakkah.net/en/dont-play-games-with-wilaayah-the-right-of-being-the-walee-for-a-marriage.htm
Asalamulaikum,
How do you advice a father who whips their 4 year old daughter until her skin is bruised with marks? Stating that the child don’t listen and beating them like this is the only way to get the child to listen as his mother use to beat him like this.
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. According to the question, if it is accurate, it sounds like criminal child abuse and you report it to the authorities immediately. How would you feel if that child gets seriously hurt or dies, and you knew about it and remained silent!?
As-Salam Alaykum Ustadh Moosaa,
Is it allowed to take more than 2 witnesses for the Nikkah?
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. What Allah legislated is to take two upright male witnesses, as the Messenger (may Allah raise his rank and grant him peace) is reported to have said:
لا نكاح إلا بولي وشاهدي عدل
“There is no marriage without a wali and two just witnesses.” [at-Tabaraanee, see: Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel (6/235-247)]
Some scholars allow two women in the place of one of those men, based on the Verse of Debt (2:282) wherein Allah allows two women to take the place of one of the male witnesses in debts and transactions. Other scholars say this is not allowed in marriage contracts. So according to some scholars, three witnesses are allowed (one man and two women) for marriage contracts.
As for just taking three, four, or more male witnesses, then I do not know why someone would do that. If there is a specific concern for a specific scenario, please mention it. Otherwise, suffice yourself with what Allah legislated. He legislated in some matters a single witness (sighting the moon of Ramadhaan for example), in some matters two, and in some matters four. Appreciate your All-Aware Lord and Creator, and know that His Legislation in its precise application is the best guidance for every situation. And Allah knows best.
SubhanAllaah I am content with Allaah’s legislation. It was asked due to a certain difficulty, however it will be okay in shā Allāh.
BaarakAllaahu Feek.
Salaamu alaykum,
Is there any way that is accepted in the sharia for a man to divorce his wife with immediate effect such that his responsibilities to her are immediately cut off and there is no waiting period?
Wa ‘alaykum as-Salaamu wa rahmatullaah. Allah orders that we divorce women with ‘iddahs in general. See: Quran 65:1. Aside from very rare cases of Mulaa’anah, divorce right before childbirth, or faskh (annulment) cases where deception was discovered shortly after the marriage, the process of divorce involves patient co-existence during the woman’s ‘iddah, and this is for an important wisdom mentioned by Allah:
لا تدري لعل الله يحدث بعد ذلك أمرا
“You do not know, perhaps Allah will bring about something [different and pleasing] after that (i.e. some of the ‘iddah goes by, while the divorce is still revocable).” [65:1]
And Allah knows best.
How does a sister deal with her step-dad who is acting as her wali but he is also interested in marrying her so is making it difficult?
Firstly, the stepfather is not a valid wali, unless he has been appointed by the authorities as a stand-in wali, in the absence of a male blood relative of the same religion. Secondly, his interest in marrying her is problematic. He is never allowed to marry her after having consummated his marriage with her mother. See Quran 4:23. The only exception would be that he married her mother but never consummated the marriage with her, and now that marriage is over. He could potentially marry her in such a situation, so he should excuse himself from the duty of being the wali if he is interested in her, and then he can seek marriage with her through her newly appointed wali. (Assuming this is not a troll question.) And Allah knows best.